If you have come here by accident please don't leave because you are in for a real treat. You have arrived at the home page of my www - wickedly wonderful website.
I am The Cat by the way and if you like to laugh and have fun then this is the place for you!
It gives me great pleasure to say that this www - wickedly wonderful website of mine is really becoming a world that I can properly welcome you to. You may have noticed that my amazingly popular website has grown just a little and that is because now I have added my latest masterpiece of feline literature to it "The Cat's Travelogue."
If you let your mouse hover over the bit of the page above that looks more like a peeling bit of wallpaper and then click you will be whisked to a completely new section of my dual mode website and I know you are going to love it as much as you love the original. P.S. The mouse is the thing in your hand, if you are using a trackpad I admire you!
Here you can read a little from my wonderful book "Getting Out - Excerpts From A Cat's Diary," either using a sneak peek of the first 20 or so pages or indeed every day when we show first couple of paragraphs of a different excerpt from what has been described not only by me as 'a work of pure genius.'
Just look at the Reviews page for what people have been kind enough to say, without being forced or paid of course! People can be really nice sometimes or is it just my readers, and I bring out the best in them? Probably!
If you want to sample my wonderful book you can download the first 20 pages here or read on for today's Excerpt of The Day...
It is strange what you get up to when you are bored, when you are for instance waiting in a departure lounge to board an airplane, and when the call for boarding is announced you feel as though you have accomplished something, but sadly when you sit down in the airplane you suddenly realise that your waiting has just begun and you have the flight to get through and then the transit after you land and only then you can truly say that you have arrived.
Well that is what these last few days in Prison are like for me, I suppose a better analogy would be to say it is like waiting for a Birthday or for Christmas, but as Cats don't celebrate Christmas, mainly I personally believe because they are made to wear ridiculous Pink Tinsel collar adornments, and secondly as you know I have no idea when my Birthday is and can't celebrate it so both of those occasions are meaningless to me.
I am sure that this Cat could be persuaded to celebrate Christmas if treated with more respect, and so I have decided to accept any Christmas presents that my dear readers might like to send me to help me get a better understanding of the Christmas experience. Now although my wrist is probably too small for the average Rolex watch I am sure that one could be made especially for me and then I would always know what time it is, instead of relying on my body clock, which recently, because of all of the late nights keeps setting off its alarm at all sorts of odd times of the day and night when I am either trying to concentrate and write my Diary or worse when I am fast asleep.
So at least you have an idea of the type of Christmas present that I have in mind, and please no Tinsel not even to adorn any presents that you send, because I have, quite reasonably, an aversion to Tinsel.
Happily that does leave a very long list of potential Christmas gifts for the discerning Cat, from his discerning friends and fans, and I was more than happy to present it here, but the dreadfully bossy Mr. John Woodcock seemed to think that inserting my Christmas list here was not 'seemly,' whatever that means, so after sneaking behind my back to Mr. T. A. Leibowitz, 'call me Todd,' who if you ever did, agreed with the tittle-tattling translator, the list was removed and as yet I haven't been able to reinstate it.